There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
