So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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