There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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