Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
