you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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