Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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