Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

did you make any bad decisions?

(248): View more from Michigan

many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that

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(740): View more from Ohio

he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?

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(970): View more from Colorado

She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

time to smoke my breakfast

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(785): View more from Kansas

I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving

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(248): View more from Michigan

He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company

(954): View more from Florida

It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level

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