i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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