I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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