I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
