im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
