just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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