his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
