are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
