i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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