DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
