yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You made out with two different species that night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
