this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
