Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
