Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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