I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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