I think I am morally bankrupt
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
