the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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