I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
