i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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