things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Randomize
