your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
