This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
