i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
