just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
