is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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