hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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