Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
please don't ironically join a cult
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