I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm like, not good at living.
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