I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
