I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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