Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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