Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
