YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
