dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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