god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
