Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
