Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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