i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
