Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
