yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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