if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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