You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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