We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
