And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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